It allowed me to see my power, my strength, my drive. There have been times where I’ve questioned my humanity, my purpose, do I deserve to be here running filled my cup. I wish I knew how much this sport would honestly save my life. I wish I knew that skills from running can be applied to my everyday life: that grit, determination, dedication, and consistency can propel you no matter what facet of life you’re focusing on.
And running helps you practice those skills breaking down each mile and focusing only on that. Breaking down life day by day and hour by hour if necessary. I also wish I knew that the only competition is yourself: how are you showing up today to be the best you tomorrow and for years to come. That running as a whole gives me confidence. That it has transformed me inside and out. I wish I knew that running helped me soar that it helps me become the best version of myself.
I always have to remind myself: “I deserve a seat at the table,” not only because I was considered a “slow runner,” but also because of my disabilities of being autistic with non epileptic seizures, asthma, PTSD, anxiety, and depression. It changes you it allows you to dig deep and see the most gritty, raw, vulnerable parts of yourself. A marathon is a dream come true no matter how many times you run one. And once I finished, tears streamed down my face. The last hill at mile 26 made me extremely angry, but I just wanted to be done. Then once I was out at mile 24, I felt like I could conquer and do anything.
I wish I knew how vital crowd support was and how to be my own cheerleader. I was newly diagnosed with asthma and it was always my dream to run a marathon! And so, I started tearing up at mile 2 because I was actually doing it! And then as each mile passed, I felt more confident in my abilities until we hit mile 20 and it was nothing but forest with no crowd support.
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